May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
