my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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