you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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