she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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