No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
