is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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