people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
