I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
