The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
