it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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