woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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