Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
