oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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