i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
