Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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