Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You may now shotgun with the bride
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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