You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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