Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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