So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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