You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
