Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
