What a fucking waste of an outfit
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
