weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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