doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
