I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize