ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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