at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
