no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
