Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
