how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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