do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
