Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
