whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wish there were birth control emojis
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize