her vagine was all disorganized.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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