i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
