Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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