He uses pillows to masturbate.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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