If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
