She said her name was "party"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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