I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
