Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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