forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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