I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
