i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
