The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
