question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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