I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
