I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize