dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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