last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
