hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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