Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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