Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
