And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
