Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
