It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
