I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize