hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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