I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
