im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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