I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
